A lot has been going on with me in the last month and a half or so. I’ve left my job as a news anchor and I am now on unemployment. I’m not ashamed to say it. It’s reality. It happens.
Although at times, it seems kind of shameful (or perhaps another word could go here that would be more appropriate), but as I said it’s reality. It’s what happened. I guess the shameful part about it is that I’m in my 40’s and sometimes it seems I don’t have a direction to go in my life.
It’s like, “I’m 40 years old and I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up.” The sad part is that I am grown up.
We all make choices in our lives. Some good, some bad. Sometimes we don’t know what that choice is until later. Maybe years later.
In an earlier blog post, I talked about how I need to set small, attainable goals in my life. (I believe that was a new year resolution last year). The thing is I didn’t. I still haven’t. Job to job, trying to make ends meet. It just didn’t cut it. That’s one reason why I left my last job. However, there are also deeper issues into why I left. I don’t want to get into real specifics but would you stay at a job where you seemed unappreciated? Ignored? Or maybe got into trouble and making it sound like it’s your fault, when you haven’t been instructed on how to do it right, or even how to do it? I held on as long as I could, but I just couldn’t take it anymore. It was causing me stress and health problems and other issues. It got to be where I didn’t really want to talk to anyone or talk about it. It’s like I just wanted to shut the world out and hide. I had to leave.
I’m feeling better now. But I am still dealing with my health, but it is better. I’m in a better frame of mind now.
It still is somewhat stressful job searching and not having a bigger paycheck, but I do feel better. Having some more “time” has had me thinking about “what I want to be when I grow up.”
Now, back to choices. I’ve recently been thinking about all the choices (well, most of the choices….okay….some of the choices) I’ve made. I won’t go into them here, but I just want to say that there are some different paths my life could’ve taken if I had made different choices.
But, I’m here now. This is the life I’ve made for myself. Only I can change it. I read a book my dad let me borrow. It’s “The Total Money Makeover” by Dave Ramsey. He talks about taking baby steps in order to become financially wealthy. He also references that with becoming healthier. It also can be referenced to what I was wanting to do and setting small attainable goals and achieving those goals to move on to a bigger goal. I was recently rereading it (some parts of it anyway) and seeing how that makes good sense.
That leads me to what I want to do. I’ve recently started getting into the world of freelance writing. It can be a hard road, but for some it is a very rewarding lifestyle. I’ve started reading “You Are A Writer (so start acting like one)” by Jeff Goins. I can already see by taking some of the concepts about baby steps, being focused, and just start writing, it could work. And as I said, it will be a difficult road, but it is possible.
I will continue to look for some other work as well. But I feel that I can use this “free time” to become focused and get some writing done. In fact, I am going to begin a novel based on a screenplay I wrote that did not go anywhere. It was a screenplay I wrote in my second master’s program that I have put down, worked on, put down, worked on…and put down. I’ve decided to try turning it into a novel.
So taking those baby steps, all the planning is done…now it is time to write.
I will leave you with this. If anyone ever has to encounter obstacles and think that it is too much to overcome. Just remember you can ask for help and to take baby steps. Those steps can lead you up the mountain.